I’ll try to not nerd-rage too hard in this review disguised as a blog post, but it might be hard to hold back. Just like it must have been hard for Michael Bay to hold back from actually making Revenge of the Fallen awesome. Seriously, it’s a movie about robots fighting each other and he screwed it up. If you didn’t like the first movie, you’re probably not going to like this movie. If you got excited for this movie based on the trailer, you’re probably not going to like this movie since it’s such a tease. When I got to the theater I was optimistic about the film, but that soon changed after the introduction ended. For the past two years I’ve been holding on to the belief that since the technology/animators were already in place from the first movie, Revenge of the Fallen would be littered with cool transformers and epic fight scenes. Don’t get me wrong, the movie does a few things well. It has some awesome transformers and some pretty decent one liners. That’s about it for the positive remarks, so you’re going to be disappointed unless you really like random explosions and more comedic relief than a comedy has to offer. Without ruining any scenes or the little plot there is, Revenge of the Fallen can be summarized with one word: tease. The whole movie is a tease that is plagued by bad editing and a lack of any real direction. All the cool transformers you saw in the preview or have heard rumors about are cheated out of their awesomeness by limited screen time and non-climatic demises. Every time something cool happens in the movie, it is immediately ruined by a pointless scene with humans or annoying new robots. Yes, there are a lot of annoying robots in this movie. If you thought the first movie was annoying at times, Revenge of the Fallen will make you want to forget you ever loved Transformers. At numerous times during Revenge of the Fallen, it is likely that you will forget you are watching a Transformers movie. There are scenes that have absolutely nothing to do with the story and are obviously put in as either a marketing ploy or to try to please a particular demographic. The Transformers have even less to do with the story in this one, and probably have fewer lines than they did in the first movie. As a silver lining, the Megatron and Starscream dynamic is actually displayed a little in Revenge of the Fallen. There is also a very interesting doomsday machine that the decepticons want to use, but the idea is underdeveloped and felt like it was thrown in at the last minute. Ultimately, people are going to see this movie no matter what. I warn you now, however, that you will probably be left unfulfilled. Every time you try to get excited about this movie, it just lets you down and makes you wonder what you’re watching and why.