OK, the introduction to the first song on this record is awesome because Stephen Hawking is in it, talking in that weird modulated voice, and then there is this metallic riff of vigor and a bunch of weird electronic noises that sound like the “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” theme song.

Actually, the entire album sounds kind of like the “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” soundtrack. Even the cover has a weird, “Spaceship 5000” kind of helmet on it.

You know what? I think these guys actually are from the future. They are like aliens from some weird planet with “X” in its name.

And wow, there are a lot of great songs on here. “Blow Me (Like the Wind)” is the greatest thing I listened to today.

Vocalist Hank Von Helvete says we think he’s fat, but it’s just an illusion. He also asks us if his candle would be too hard to handle.

Turbonegro reminds me of my music teacher’s metal band. They were called The Stuff and the first song on their CD was called “King of the Jungle.” It was a bunch of tiger growls and drums and a girl moaning.

“Party Animals” doesn’t have much moaning. But it probably will make you, like, crazy horny.