Dear Dr. Date,
My friends and I read your response to the writer with the long-distance relationship dilemma. We all came to the general consensus that dating other people is a bad thing. You claim to have dated other people, however, not “engaging in any STD-causing activity such as sex or oral sex” describes every interaction that I have with my female friends, and I do not consider them “dates.” My girlfriend attends Winona State University and our relationship is much stronger because of it. Dating other people desensitizes you towards your mate. If it is meant to be it will be, true! However, you have to take the necessary steps to preserve that relationship, and dating other people does not help your cause.
— Fellow long-distance lover

Do what you want to do, friend. The author of that letter wrote in asking about how to make his situation work. He and his sweetheart talked about how they felt about each other and what the separation would represent. Clearly, they decided that nonchalantly seeing other people wouldn’t be a big deal in the long term for them. Perhaps they have enough faith in the strength of their relationship that seeing other people won’t matter that much.
There came a point in my relationship where I felt so strongly about my lover, I knew no one could take her place. Conversely, I also felt so confident about my place in her heart that I knew no one else stood a chance. Let’s say she meets an interesting guy on her trip and they happen to kiss. Big deal. She met an interesting person. The kiss was irrelevant. I can’t say this about every relationship I’ve had. There was just something about the bond we shared at that particular time. Going on a few innocent dates and kissing somebody do not desensitize you towards your mate. This only makes sense if you’ve never kissed anyone but your current sweetheart. I can see how it might in your situation because you see your sweetheart less frequently. I think the author’s situation is quite a bit different than yours. You and your lover can see each other every weekend. The author and his lover were going to be separated by a significant distance for a number of months.
Look, dating other people while separated isn’t for every relationship. I felt the author and his sweetheart had already done all the soul searching necessary to figure out if this was the right thing to do or not. He was rational and clear about his feelings. I support that.
(Don’t forget about my Mini-Mixer this Friday at The Whole in the basement of Coffman Union. It’s sponsored by the good people at SHADE. There will be dancing and music provided by 770 Radio K, plus plenty of ways to meet other happenin’ singles on campus. Dr. Date’s Mini-Mixer starts at 9 p.m.)