A dejected Elmo sat in scorn as creatures all around him frolicked in the spring air. It was partly cloudy, and the high would be around 60 today. The beautiful weather of late had summoned life out of the few remaining frozen corpses on campus, and libido could wait no longer. Flesh was exposed and courtship ran amok. Elmo felt sick. Even the birds and the bees were active. “Why, oh why, can’t I get some action?” groaned Elmo. He knew relief would not soon come. Tomorrow would also be partly cloudy with a high in the lower 60s. Just as Elmo’s stomach began to heave again, a friendly squirrel hopped on his lap. Elmo smiled. Perhaps his spring-time love had just arrived.