Gateway Center to take off before the Y2K disaster

by Brazen Recalcitrant

The University Gateway Center quietly began its preparations for takeoff Monday in a final attempt by top officials to escape the Y2K disaster.
After months of speculation, the Daily has learned of secret negotiation meetings between University President Mark Yudof and top U.S. military officials.
What was believed to be an unusual-looking building for University alumni and the “gateway” to the University is actually a multibillion dollar project engineered by the Institute of Technology aerospace department and NASA.
“Why would the University build this ugly building?” asked an administration insider who chose not to be identified. “There’s got to be some purpose for it.”
Alfred Leano, an aerospace IT senior, assisted in the project. He said the building is designed not for aesthetic purposes.
“The geometric planes are made to break the earth’s atmosphere and continue to function in space,” Leano said.
According to Daily sources, U.S. President Bill Clinton and his family will be joined by Yudof; certain rich University alumni; the Dalai Lama; Middle Eastern and Texan oil magnates; Bill Gates; Jan Gangelhoff, who received a special pass by the University; Puff Daddy and Madonna; PokÇmon; the remaining Beatles members; and Gala King in the University Gateway Center.
Thousands have already flocked to the Gateway Center in hopes of entering the building before the coming millennium.
“God will save us,” said Sharon Lira, an evangelist who spoke to the crowd. University freshman Buck Samuelson, looking for beer, was taken in by police for illegal solicitation.
As the night fell, the moon illuminating the copper walls of the Gateway Center and the gatherers waited patiently for their redemption.

Brazen Recalcitrant covers tragedies and welcomes comments at [email protected]