Kueppers: Cancel student debt, Joe

Just take the shot already, Mr. President, and ease the burden on millions of students.


by Henry Kueppers

President and the original inspiration for Carl Fredricksen from the movie “Up,” Joe Biden, is facing mounting pressure from some elected Democrats to cancel student debt. Biden said time and time again on the campaign trail that he supports canceling up to $10,000 worth of student debt, but now leading Democrats like Sen. Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren argue he should cancel up to $50,000 worth of debt. But Biden is starting to sound a lot like the kid that you’re partnered with on a class project who just agrees with all your ideas and then does no work. Biden continually says he is in support of canceling student debt, … yet here we are. Still in a world with student debt. So, the question on all our minds is, “What gives, Joe?”

Biden has an ample amount of reasons for canceling student debt. For starters, the American people have invested a lot of hope in him following through on his promises. We’re counting on Joe Biden. After the last terrible four years with Trump, we need someone actually capable and able to make smart and beneficial decisions for our country’s citizens.

If America was the 1996 family comedy “Matilda,” Trump was the abusive and cruel Miss Trunchbull who force-fed the American people chocolate cake, which makes Joe Biden the wonderful and kind Miss Honey. We’re not asking you to be perfect, Joe. We just want the next four years to be like that one music montage scene in the movie where Matilda and Miss Honey dance around and rollerblade inside the house. So c’mon, Mr. President! Cancel student debt and let us rollerblade inside the house!

… I am being notified that my “Matilda” reference may not be as ubiquitous as I thought. Therefore, here are some more “relatable” arguments for canceling student debt, although I struggle to think of what is more relatable than the story of a girl who was able to develop telekinetic powers after obsessively reading.

First, Biden holds the power to cancel student debt quickly and easily, something that is virtually unheard of in the government. You see, the president doesn’t actually need to garner judicial approval for canceling student debt. The president could sign an executive order today and cancel as much student debt as he pleases. It could literally be as simple as the signing of his name on paper and boom! Thousands of students are receiving a huge relief from their financial burdens. However, Biden’s staff has told the press that while he still wants to cancel student debt, he’d rather do it with Congress’ support. So, we know it’s not a matter of actually convincing the president to do this; it’s other politicians. This is where we ask our second question of the day: “What gives, politicians?”

Apparently, Republicans and fiscally conservative Democrats (who are Republicans with better skincare routines) argue that canceling student debt wouldn’t stimulate the economy because people would just continue to save the money they’d been putting aside for debt. There is also a raging debate on “what is fair” regarding student debt, which basically questions who should be allowed to receive this cancellation. Like, should a medical student from an Ivy League get the same amount of debt paid off as an English major at a small public college? Although college can be deemed a “universal experience,” in reality, every student that has acquired debt has a different story and background, making the decision process “tricky.”

Oh, and then, of course, there are taxes! Because if there’s one thing American politicians love more than making children cry and not doing their jobs, it’s taxes. People say that student loan forgiveness would increase your taxable income, and that just means that if the government gave us $10,000 for student loan forgiveness, they can actually still tax that. So, you’d end up paying $2,000 of that original $10,000 when tax season comes around. Don’t you just love that?

If you ask me, and I’ll speak in a language the president can understand, all of that is just a bunch of malarkey. So what if people have different amounts of debt and different backgrounds? So what if we end up losing a little bit of that money to taxes? I mean, in reality, they should be making these loan forgiveness payments tax-deductible, but I know that might not happen. We live in a capitalist society after all.

But, the bottom line is, even a little bit of money could greatly help students in debt right now. And if that’s the case, then why the hesitation? The president has the power to help millions of students and give them a chance not to be indebted for the rest of their lives. This seems like a no-brainer to me, Mr. President. Please forgive student debt and cancel at least some of it. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to ask myself, “What gives, democracy?”