It’s been an eventful week. To lighten the mood, let’s recap the notable moments over this election season and see if you’ve been tuning in or taking care of your mental health.
Who won the presidential election?
A) Kamala Harris
B) Donald Trump
C) R.F.K.’s brain worm
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz said in the vice presidential debate that he has become friends with:
A) Murderers
B) Arsonists
C) School shooters
Vice President Kamala Harris emphasized in her campaign that she was the only candidate who had:
A) Forced Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh to admit he couldn’t think of any laws that gave the government control over the male body.
B) Prosecuted transnational criminal organizations.
C) Been able to look the American people in the eyes with dignity.
At a Wisconsin rally, when discussing criticisms that his rhetoric on protecting women was inappropriate, President-Elect Donald Trump said:
A) “Whether the women like it or not, I’m going to protect them.”
B) “Harris won’t protect you like I will because she’s soft on the border!”
C) “I’m the nation’s protector, the best protector. Everyone says so, that I’m the best.”
After Joe Rogan endorsed Trump, Trump said about Rogan:
A) “He’s the macho macho man.”
B) “He’s the biggest there is. Somebody said the biggest beyond anybody in a long time.”
C) “You know I’d love to give him a cabinet position, very smart, Joe. So much smarter than sleepy Joe Biden.”
In the presidential debate between Harris and Trump, Trump falsely claimed about immigrants in Springfield, Ohio: “They’re eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating the pets of the people that live there.” What other animal has he expressed concern about?
A) “The migrants are coming in and they’re taking the goldfish from the classrooms.”
B) “A recording of 911 calls shows that residents are reporting that the migrants are walking off with the town’s geese. They’re taking the geese.”
C) “All the rabbits have disappeared! Have you seen the rabbits? They’re taking them, the rabbits.”
Earlier in the campaign, Harris went viral on social media for her quote:
A) “Voting for me is very demure, very mindful.”
B) “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?”
C) “My campaign might be brat, but my presidency will be boss.”
According to a false joke that went viral online, Vice President-Elect J.D. Vance was rumored to have sexual relations with what inanimate object?
A) A couch
B) A lamp
C) A roomba
Which of these word-salad false statements did Trump actually say?
A) “Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.”
B) “There’s a title wave of immigrants coming in and they’re going to take away your McDonalds.”
C) “The non-binary teachers are indoctrinating the kids with critical race theory TikTok reels!”
Lastly, what did Trump hope people took away from his recent appearance on a tarmac in Green Bay, Wisconsin?
A) “I’ve stolen Taylor Swift’s private jet!”
B) “Tim might be a car guy, but I have this beautiful garbage truck.”
C) “I hope you enjoyed this garbage truck.”
Answer Key:
- B
- C
- B
- A
- B
- B
- B
- A
- A
- C
0-3 — Okay, prioritizing your mental health is good, but did you know we have a newsletter?
4-5 — Congrats! You’re saving money on therapy.
6-7 — Not bad! Informed but not emotionally incinerated.
8-9 — Wow! You know your stuff!
10 — Respect. Also, are you okay? It might be time to touch some grass.
