This Valentine’s Day, as I rush to finish my assignment due at midnight, I can’t help but wonder why I’m still single. Shouldn’t I be able to easily find a kind, funny and ambitious man my age who shares my liberal ideologies and understands that he will inevitably be my third priority after my two cats? 

In our politically divided world, politics play a significant role in dating for many people. 

Of Democrats who are single and looking for a relationship, more than 70% said they would not consider dating someone who voted for President Donald Trump, according to a 2020 Pew Research Center poll. 

In the era of Trump and the Make America Great Again (MAGA) movement, politics increasingly became a question of who has rights and who doesn’t. For many of the people whose rights are in question, that is, understandably, a deal breaker. 

Emma Mielke, a second-year student at the University of Minnesota, said finding a partner with similar values goes beyond surface-level political views. 

“How educated somebody is and how open-minded and understanding and empathetic somebody is plays a lot into their political beliefs,” Mielke said. “A lot of the time, those things just don’t match up in the dating world.” 

Mielke said while she is open to dating men and women, it is particularly challenging to find men who align with her political beliefs. The political gender gap among Gen Z illustrates this challenge and contributes to conflicts between young men and women, Mielke said. 

“It’s a self-repeating cycle where men are feeling lonely and left out and like no woman will ever love them or something,” Mielke said. “They resort to taking that out and hating women essentially, and that just drives them further down this pit and inspires more young men to follow suit.” 

During the 2024 election season, women and men ages 18 to 29 were separated by a 51-point gender gap, with women favoring former Vice President Kamala Harris by 38 points and men favoring Trump by 13 points, according to polls conducted by The New York Times and Siena College polls in six swing states over the summer. 

Ashleigh Brown, a first-year student at the University, said the gender gap among Gen Z voters is relevant in dating experiences because both politics and Gen Z-ers’ lives are at a pivotal point.  

“It’s one of the most important things going on in our time, probably the period of time where the most change is going to happen in our lives,” Brown said. “It’s probably a really important topic when going on dates, now more than ever.”

Dru Collins, a first-year student, said having opposing political views can be a deal breaker in relationships, especially when it comes to potentially raising children in the future. 

“My ex, he started saying some offensive things about trans people,” Collins said. “What if our child ended up being trans?”

Collins said the women she knows are more likely to share this view because differing political views can cause disagreements over their rights and bodily autonomy. 

“I think that it can be a deal breaker if they find out a man’s opinion doesn’t align with their beliefs,” Collins said. “But for most men that I know, it seems like they don’t give it as much thought and I’m not sure if it would be a deal breaker for them.”

David Lipset, an anthropology professor at the University, said dating apps are impacting how people present themselves online and give rise to a form of personal branding on dating platforms. 

“It’s become almost a form of advertising,” Lipset said. “People have to become very deliberate and careful about what they say and how they define their tastes and their likes and their dislikes in their online representation of themselves on apps.”

It’s debatable whether people’s listed political affiliations on dating apps are representative of their true beliefs, but judging a book by its cover is not always the best practice. Making assumptions about a person based on a handful of attributes can also take the intimacy out of a personal process.  

“It’s as if people are representing themselves as if they’re job hunting instead of looking to meet somebody socially,” Lipset said. 

While limited in how much they typically say about someone’s character, online dating profiles can help people dodge unwanted political conversations. 

“It’s a very touchy subject and especially with the radicalization we’re seeing of MAGA,” Mielke said. “I definitely can see how people would be scared to have those conversations in person without meeting the other person before.” 

For those who do have political conversations on a first date, the answer you get could be misleading. Some women are asking questions that are not political on the surface, but still allow them to infer political leanings from their date’s answer. 

Politics can be difficult to talk about, especially as we grow more polarized and comfortable in our ideological filter bubbles.  

People want to share their experiences, personal preferences and viewpoints with others who share the same interests and experiences in society, Lipset said. 

“What kind of art they like, what kind of music they like,” Lipset said. “People like to share all that with somebody who is kind of similar, shares their tastes and so politics is part of that.” 

At the end of the day, we’re all looking to be understood by those closest to us, but we can’t do that if we don’t listen to each other and seek to understand our differences. That being said, we should draw the line when disagreements cross over into disrespect. 

Even in our digital and divided world, we should look for people who respect and encourage us to have an open mind. 

But that’s too philosophical for a dating app bio.