Wren: Hey Vivian! I think it’s safe to say we’ve had pretty different college experiences when it comes to finding the balance between work and play. In my freshman year, the most social I got was going on a required scavenger hunt for my freshman seminar. Otherwise, I spent most of my time at home or studying at a corner table by the window in the library.
I have to admit, this wasn’t the most fun approach, but going out wasn’t something I wanted to do. Does this mean I missed out on part of the “college experience,” or is this idea even representative of what college should be for everyone?
Vivian: I wouldn’t call myself a party animal, but I can’t help admitting that going out has shaped my college trajectory in a better direction than it would’ve otherwise. It sounds counterintuitive, but we’re only young once, and a big part of this time in most of our lives is our drive toward new experiences.
Why is it that this sort of experience is constantly reduced or denigrated when it’s so integral to the college ecosystem, lifestyle and economy? They don’t write songs about staying cooped up in your dorm on Quizlet.
Wren: I see your point. College is definitely the time for new experiences, and whatever these experiences are can be pivotal in shaping who you are and your life trajectory. Going out in college should not be denigrated. For a lot of people, it makes life worth living. However, a college experience that doesn’t include this lifestyle can be just as relatable for many people.
College is a time to figure out who you want to be, and if that means spending more time with yourself in your dorm or in the library working on whatever you feel passionate about, I think that can be just as valuable. For myself, I would have felt pressure to fit a mold if I was going out and trying to fit into what I thought the college experience was, without taking the time to figure out what I wanted to get out of college, both socially and academically.
Vivian: I’m not one to push any sort of lifestyle on anyone. However, I do think that closing oneself off from opportunities for new experiences can do more harm than good. I don’t think you can knock it until you try it to whatever extent you’re comfortable and feel safe doing. When people think of college nightlife, they think of frat and bar culture, like Barstool Sports (shoutout Gopher Chicks!). To be completely honest, though, that’s only a fraction of what there is to do.
There are so many opportunities on a large campus, and going out doesn’t have to entail anything you don’t want it to. Some of the best live performances I’ve seen have been from local bands performing at house shows. Another highlight from this year was a Gopher Catholic party I attended on a whim after being invited by my roommate. Nightlife can be enriching in ways that people tend to forget and isn’t always debaucherous.
Wren: People do often neglect the variety of options there are for going out and I have to admit, live performances in local settings can be extremely fun and worthwhile. However, it’s also easy to forget the social opportunities available on campus that don’t involve going to parties or typical nightlife events. Student group events, volunteer opportunities and other social activities can be great for people looking to make social connections based on their interests and passions. These opportunities can turn into lifelong careers and passion projects. For people who like cozying in before the live performances start, all hope is not lost.
Vivian: There’s a certain wisdom that can only be obtained through waiting outside Raising Cane’s at 3 a.m., trekking home or losing your purse on the side of the road. In many ways, going out forces you to confront an underbelly of life that isn’t as romantic. I’m not exactly pro-that, but I will say that I’ve learned a lot in situations where I had to think on my feet, which I probably wouldn’t have learned or needed to do at a book club meeting. I also have more funny stories to tell now.
Wren: Fair point, there probably isn’t a lot of thinking on your feet at a book club meeting. This experience isn’t contained to college, though and it isn’t the only aspect of the college experience. Finding a small group of friends who enjoy hanging out at each other’s apartments, playing board games and watching movies can be just as worthwhile. Does this teach you the same skills going out would? No, but these experiences can be just as formative for young people, especially when going out isn’t something they’re particularly interested in. There’s also nothing wrong with having more of a nightlife after college. Just because you focus on other things in college doesn’t mean you’re missing out. It just means we all have different values and different ideas of fun, transformative experiences.
Vivian: I agree. In that, the college experience is transformative and looks wildly different to everyone. But, in the bubble that college provides, not experiencing nightlife at least once to some degree is missing out on a part of the college experience. There’s a certain culture that college provides insofar as nightlife goes. While it comes with benefits and drawbacks, it is truly unique and accessible in ways that nightlife outside of college life doesn’t seem to be.
I’m not saying everyone needs to be going out every weekend or every night, but it’s certainly not an experience that we should close ourselves off to. The college experience in the most certain terms and the widest lens is an experience of self-actualization, learning and exploration. Going out is just one avenue for this, but it’s an avenue nonetheless.
