Dr. Date: Couples taking fall photos need to stop


by Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date, 

God, if I see one more f*cking couple at a pumpkin patch, corn maze or haunted house, I am going to scream. I swear, everyone I know is out on cute fall dates with perfect Instagram photos in the fall leaves posting captions like “FALL-ing for him.” Every social media account I have is filled with couples pronouncing their love for each other via pun-related hashtags regarding autumn, and I can’t stand it!

Okay, yeah, I’m jealous. My girlfriend and I broke up in the summer, and I’ve had no luck with love since. I want to do all these fun things, but every girl is getting cuffed already. I tried to go to a pumpkin patch in hopes of finding a single girl to help me pick out a pumpkin or something, but everyone was either with their family, partner or child. 

Dr. Date, I’m lonely AF. And if I can’t get a girl soon, who will go to the CSE Winter Light Show with me?! How do I find the perfect date ASAP?


The Fallen

Dear The Fallen,

Uhh, y’all ever heard of Tinder? 

As much as you want someone to #FALLinlove with, I wouldn’t try approaching random people at fall-related events. Like you’ve discovered, most of them are there with someone. Instead, if you really want to get lost in a corn maze or be terrified by teenagers working a haunted house, take your friends! I’m sure some of them are also single/lonely and would love to come. And hey, maybe you’ll find a girl in the same situation with her group of friends.

But either way, put yourself out there in a non-weird way. There’s definitely some good puns you can use in a Bumble bio that will inspire your own Instagram caption one day.


Dr. Date