The Minnesota Daily

Dr. Date

Dr. Date

Dr. Date is the premier (mostly satirical) love doctor at the University of Minnesota, with a residency at the Minnesota Daily. Are you romantically bewildered? Are you sexually consternated, and is your relationship status a little too complicated? Want advice from the Daily’s in-house love doctor? Email Dr. Date at [email protected].

All content by Dr. Date
Dr. Date: I don’t want to hear about another mediocre man ever again 

Dr. Date: I don’t want to hear about another mediocre man ever again 

April 20, 2021
How do I make space for myself while also supporting my friend through her breakup? 
Dr. Date: Is my partner going to leave me once they get the vaccine?

Dr. Date: Is my partner going to leave me once they get the vaccine?

April 11, 2021
Will my partner leave me once the pandemic ends, when staying inside and safe is no longer necessary?
Dr. Date: Carlson BF, Liberal Arts GF 

Dr. Date: Carlson BF, Liberal Arts GF 

March 22, 2021
The revolution will not wait for your boyfriend’s hedge fund to become woke.
Dr. Date: My boyfriend doesn’t make time for me 

Dr. Date: My boyfriend doesn’t make time for me 

March 18, 2021
It’s not your responsibility to teach someone else how to value you. 
I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is a Reddit troll

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend is a Reddit troll

March 14, 2021
I don’t think I’m utilizing girl power by being with a man who criticizes women who like Taylor Swift and “The Bachelor.”
Dr. Date: I’m in love with a film bro

Dr. Date: I’m in love with a film bro

March 11, 2021
I’m looking at him while he’s looking at Uma Thurman’s feet.
Dr. Date: How do I tell my partner I’m experimenting with gender identity?

Dr. Date: How do I tell my partner I’m experimenting with gender identity?

March 10, 2021
I think my gender is my school presentation and I left the flash drive at home — how do I explain that to my partner of two years?
Dr. Date: What do I do about my boyfriend’s horny Twitter personality? 

Dr. Date: What do I do about my boyfriend’s horny Twitter personality? 

March 9, 2021
What can you do when your man keeps tweeting memes after sex? 
Dr. Date: How do I deal with my mental health in a new relationship?

Dr. Date: How do I deal with my mental health in a new relationship?

March 4, 2021
Explaining yourself and your own personal intricacies is difficult, and vulnerability is a virtue that comes with time and comfort.
Dr. Date: My girlfriend is wayyy too into astrology 

Dr. Date: My girlfriend is wayyy too into astrology 

March 1, 2021
It’s the age-old tale of the astrological gf and the nonbeliever bf.
Dr. Date: She’s just not that into you

Dr. Date: She’s just not that into you

February 23, 2021
Revenge is sweet, but staying in your lane is sweeter.
Dr. Date: My girlfriend’s earring collection is ruining our relationship

Dr. Date: My girlfriend’s earring collection is ruining our relationship

February 21, 2021
I think the spice rack is a space for spices; she thinks it’s a place for her ramen packet earrings.
Dr. Date: I can’t stop matching with moderates on Tinder

Dr. Date: I can’t stop matching with moderates on Tinder

February 19, 2021
One girl I matched with had #GirlBoss in her Twitter bio. And not ironically.
Dr. Date: My ex is TikTok famous

Dr. Date: My ex is TikTok famous

February 17, 2021
Now he’s talking about starting a Hype House with other Como creators — yes, I too am vomiting from the sound of this sentence.
Dr. Date: My girlfriend's into furries. It makes me insecure when sports mascots are on screen.

Dr. Date: My girlfriend’s into furries. It makes me insecure when sports mascots are on screen.

February 13, 2021
Never in my life did I think I was going to feel inferior (or should we say infurior) when I saw a person-sized gopher … but here we are.
Dr. Date: I was dumped right before Valentine's Day

Dr. Date: I was dumped right before Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2021
Now, I’m alone and will have to undergo the most lovey-dovey time of the year without a love.
Dr. Date: How can/should I navigate a socially-distanced orgy?

Dr. Date: How can/should I navigate a socially-distanced orgy?

February 6, 2021
An orgy is risky during a normal year, let alone during a pandemic, let alone in the presence of your closest friends.
Dr. Date: I'm having Anthony Fauci role play problems.

Dr. Date: I’m having Anthony Fauci role play problems.

February 2, 2021
Managing a partner’s “public health risk” kink during a global pandemic.
Dr. Date: What PPE should I use during sex?

Dr. Date: What PPE should I use during sex?

September 20, 2020
Have lube and hand sanitizer on hand, but for the love of god don’t mix the two up.
Dr. Date: I hooked up with one of my girlfriend’s roommates. Should I join quarantine with them?

Dr. Date: I hooked up with one of my girlfriend’s roommates. Should I join quarantine with them?

July 9, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, My girlfriend and I have been dating since we started college as freshmen two years ago. My girlfriend has kept me going through quarantine. We’ve been apart this whole time but meeting...

Dr. Date: My boyfriend wants to move home because of COVID-19, but I don't want him to

Dr. Date: My boyfriend wants to move home because of COVID-19, but I don’t want him to

March 22, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, The moment my boyfriend and I sat next to each other in the dining hall during Welcome Week, I knew he was the one. Within a few days, we were spending the nights in each other’s singles...

Dr. Date: My boyfriend is panic-buying, and it's pissing me off

Dr. Date: My boyfriend is panic-buying, and it’s pissing me off

March 18, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, You know those assholes who are taking absolutely everything off the shelves of grocery stores to keep for themselves and/or sell for much higher prices online? Well, that’s my boyfriend.  I...

Dr. Date: My boyfriend HATES my makeup

Dr. Date: My boyfriend HATES my makeup

March 16, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Ever since I got my first job at 16, I’ve been spending my paycheck on makeup. Rouge level of rewards at Sephora, Diamond Member at Ulta, a vanity and storage space worthy of any beauty...

Dr. Date: I can't tell if my classmate is flirting with me or hates me

Dr. Date: I can’t tell if my classmate is flirting with me or hates me

March 16, 2020

Dear Dr. Date,  I’m the first to admit that I have the awareness of a 6-year-old. Every relationship I’ve ever had was initiated by the guy seemingly out of the blue, even though they’ve later...

Dr. Date: A student walked in on my girlfriend and I

Dr. Date: A student walked in on my girlfriend and I

March 5, 2020

Hi Dr. Date– I usually pick up my girlfriend when she gets off work. Since she’s an overworked graduate student, sometimes things run a bit late, and I end up sitting outside her office, waiting for...

Dr. Date: My girlfriend is mad about my vote

Dr. Date: My girlfriend is mad about my vote

March 5, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, As I’m sure everyone knows, the primary election was yesterday. I’m very active in politics and have been canvassing for my candidate all week, along with asking everyone I know if they...

Dr. Date: My date keeps ignoring me to

Dr. Date: My date keeps ignoring me to “short the market”

March 2, 2020

Hey Dr. Date! I’ve been seeing an amazing guy – hot, smart, funny, good job prospects… Definitely a good catch. He’s in Carlson, and seems pretty smart with finance and all that – another good...

I think my girlfriend is a vampire (in bed)

I think my girlfriend is a vampire (in bed)

March 1, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, My girlfriend and I just became official, and I’ve never been happier in my whole life. She’s absolutely perfect and I adore her. Except for this one thing — I think she might be a...

Dr. Date: My dream girl is too

Dr. Date: My dream girl is too “crustpunk”

February 27, 2020

Hey Doc, I’ve been seeing this one girl lately. It’s kinda new for me — kinda the first time I’ve caught feelings for someone in years. I really can’t get enough of her — we connect so well,...

My walls are covered in photos of other women

My walls are covered in photos of other women

February 24, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, I’m in college for chemical engineering, but my true passion is photography. I’ve probably spent thousands over the past five years on equipment. I try and shoot at least once a week....

Dr. Date: School is ruining my relationship

Dr. Date: School is ruining my relationship

February 24, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Ever since winter break I’ve been crazy busy. With three jobs and 17 credits, my life is a mess of Google calendars and automated reminders to eat and sleep. I occasionally have a day...

I ghosted my boyfriend on Valentine's Day

I ghosted my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day

February 20, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, My boyfriend and I were going to spend our very first Valentine’s Day together last week. He had planned a whole surprise day for me that I was really excited about. But right before we...

My boyfriend auditioned for Love Island — and might get it

My boyfriend auditioned for Love Island — and might get it

February 20, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, I am desperately in love with my boyfriend. Like, really, I feel like a second grade girl planning her whole wedding with Barbies. He’s so handsome and kind and wonderful and funny and...

My boyfriend wants me to be more

My boyfriend wants me to be more “adventurous” in bed

February 16, 2020

 Dear Dr. Date, I’ve never been shy about my sex life, so when my friends and I decided to take the Rice Purity test (a quiz that gives you a score based on how much you’ve done in the bedroom),...

Dr. Date: My date thinks I have coronavirus because I’m from UW-Madison

February 16, 2020

 Dear Dr. Date, Alright, I’ll be upfront — I’m from University of Wisconsin - Madison. I promise I’m working to change my implicit biases against Goldy Gopher, but until then, I need some...

Dr. Date: I think I'm in love with a guy I just met

Dr. Date: I think I’m in love with a guy I just met

February 13, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, You know what they say: love blossoms during Blarney’s Karaoke Night. When the guy at the bar bought me a Long Island Iced Tea and asked me to sing Mamma Mia with him, I knew that we would...

Dr. Date: My boyfriend is attending a bachelor party - with strippers?!

Dr. Date: My boyfriend is attending a bachelor party – with strippers?!

February 13, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, My boyfriend’s best friend is getting married and chose my boyfriend as his best man. He couldn’t be happier, considering they’ve been friends since the third grade and see each other...

Can I ask out my self-defense partner without her worrying I'll beat her up?

Can I ask out my self-defense partner without her worrying I’ll beat her up?

February 10, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Crime around campus has me scared AF. Stabbing with a screwdriver? Gunshots in Dinky? Uh, nope. I don’t think pepper spray can save me from everything, so I figured I’d enroll in a self-defense...

My girlfriend is going to a nude hotel

My girlfriend is going to a nude hotel

February 10, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Spring break is fast approaching and I’m pumped. A week off from school, no snow on the ground (knock on wood) and happy hour specials every day at campus bars? It’s the best time of...

I don't like dating apps — can I ever find love?

I don’t like dating apps — can I ever find love?

February 6, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, If love is a game, then I’m in search of a tutorial. I’ve been single since the end of my last relationship (go figure) before my freshman year, and since then, I’ve had some personal...

I got asked out three times for Valentine's Day

I got asked out three times for Valentine’s Day

February 6, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and yet again, I’m not in a committed relationship. But fear not, I’m talking to at least four guys on Tinder, which is the same thing. Each guy seems...

My boyfriend said he loves me over Snapchat

February 3, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a couple months now, and things are going great. We always have fun when we’re together — I think this could be the real deal.  But…...

My girlfriend and I use the same porn account — and it’s getting weird

February 2, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Love is sharing a premium Pornhub account. Look, you and your partner can pretend that the other is your only source of sexual satisfaction, but let’s be real — sometimes people need...

My boyfriend just graduated college without telling me?!

My boyfriend just graduated college without telling me?!

February 2, 2020

Dear Dr. Date,  My boyfriend and I met in a senior-level class as sophomores last fall and bonded over feeling out of place — while everyone was looking for jobs after graduation, we were nervous...

My boyfriend makes creepy comments to girls on Instagram

My boyfriend makes creepy comments to girls on Instagram

January 30, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, We’ve all seen him: the guy who is oblivious as to how uncomfortable he makes girls when commenting how hot they are on their Instagram pics. Whether it be the casual “sexy” or the...

My girlfriend is way too competitive 100 percent of the time

My girlfriend is way too competitive 100 percent of the time

January 30, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, I met this girl through our intramural sports team last semester. She was a friend of a friend who filled the last space on our soccer team, and after one look, I knew I was in love. After...

I got my boyfriend fired ... because we had sex in the back room

I got my boyfriend fired … because we had sex in the back room

January 27, 2020

Dear Dr. Date,  Not to brag, but my sex life is pretty great. My boyfriend and I follow one simple rule: when the mood strikes, let’s do it, location be damned. We’re not exhibitionists, but we’ve...

My girlfriend won't let me post our relationship

My girlfriend won’t let me post our relationship

January 27, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for six months now and it’s been going great. One problem — she pretends we’re not together online. The day she asked me to be her girlfriend, she...

My partner changed majors — and wants to take every single class with me

My partner changed majors — and wants to take every single class with me

January 23, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, My partner and I have been together for three years, but I’ve seen them switch majors/careers around six times. We’ve only been in college together for a year, but they’ve bounced...

My boyfriend can get me a great job — but I was going to dump him

My boyfriend can get me a great job — but I was going to dump him

January 23, 2020

Dear Dr. Date, Hi, I’m in Carlson School of Management (add me on LinkedIn) and I have quite the career dilemma ahead of me. In October I started dating an average guy with above average connections....