This week I’m serving a succinct dose of medicine to cure campus’s cold shoulder to fashion rules.
The focus of today’s column is on style composition. It’s to adjust thy wardrobes in an effort to add a bit more visual depth and clothing stimulation to our sidewalks.
Fashion is personal and subjective, so feel free to do as you please — just follow these rules along the way.
- Thou Shalt Limit Thy Pairing of Gopher Gear to Two Items at A Time
The fact that you’re strutting your stuff through the Mall area is the best signifier to others that you’re a Golden Gopher. There’s no need to douse yourself in maroons and golds to further showcase your student pride. Limit the University apparel to a hat and a crewneck — Go Gophs!
- Thou Shalt Wear Pants in The Winter
You’ll build some tough skin if you walk around campus in only a T-shirt right now, but once we move forward into single digit temps and you’re wearing khaki shorts, it’s time to rethink what you’re getting yourself into in the morning — literally.
- Honor Thy Professors
It’s hard to ditch the Sweatpants ’R Us mindset when coasting through college, but treat being a student more like a job and less like you’re crashing on your neighbor’s couch for the night. Wearing sweats to class is offensive to many professors, so tighten it up with a pair of leggings, ladies. Gents, I’ve heard corduroys aren’t the worst on your upper thighs — give ’em a go.
- Honor Thy Greek Membership, to a Degree
Being part of a group feels incredible and it’s something to be proud of. However, when your closet overflows with only the finest of Phi tees from Underground Printing, you look more like an advertisement and less like the intriguing human being you are. Mix your cotton tees with a textured wool cardigan or a denim shirt to add some flair to your greek wear.
- Remember Thy Undergarments
Wind, rain and snow are all elements Minneapolis weather has that are certain to give rise to bit of chest action. Consider this a PSA for you to take action with your girls while the weather permits.
- Thou Shalt Wear Heels If Able to Walk in Them
Heels are phenomenal. The list of benefits to the female figure is as endless as your legs. However, if it’s mid-day and you’re walking past Nicholson like you’ve had three too many cocktails, refrain from that extra inch. Try a low block heel for a little lift sans fool-making.
- Thou Shalt Remember There Are More Brands than North Face And Ugg Australia
Remember the “Coastie” movement in 2009? Let’s refrain from regressing back to that label. Your closets are stocked with more than just two brands for the winter so play around with others. Layer with Henleys and chunky knits as your base and opt for your pea coat as an alternative to your parka.
- Thou Shalt Dress for Thine Self
No matter how similar you and your girls are, you’re not exact, and you do not have to dress as such. Use your red-haired flair to your advantage, and let your hair down even if their vanilla blond locks are pulled back.
- Thou Shalt Wear Running Shoes Only When Thou Runs
There is a definitive difference between running shoes and sneakers, the latter being trendy when worn with denim, the former being torturous to the retinas when worn with denim.
- Thou Shalt Learn The Art of Mixing Prints
Biggest point to take away from the recent revelations in the fashion world: It’s OK to mix prints. Cop an “anything goes” attitude with stripes and dots and show some life to our campus. The new rule is master the art of mix — not the match.
