Dear Dr. Date,

I have a thing for Gopher sports guys: hockey, basketball, wrestling, football — as long as you have the possibility of being on Barstool Gophers, I’m DTF. I’ve been petitioning Tinder for an athlete filter and have been known to knock on past hookup’s doors after big games. What can I say, there’s nothing better than stealing one of those maroon and gold hoodies after a long night of celebrating!

But believe it or not, I’ve actually been sticking to one guy in particular. He’s a little bigger than my other partners, but he can cover a lot of ground and is great with his hands, if you know what I mean. We’ve been hanging out for a few months, and I think I might want to be exclusive, but my friends have a different idea. 

See, guys from this team have a reputation of being … smaller, and not just in the weight room. Some say it’s because of the cold (they just got out of practice, right?), but as someone who’s been around the rink a few times, it’s actually pretty accurate. Thankfully my guy is the exception, but my friends have been laughing at me for even thinking about settling down with someone from the team. Aside from sending a pic to my friends, I don’t know what to do to stop the teasing. How do I prove he knows how to handle his stick?

Sincerely,

Size Doesn’t Matter 

Dear Size Doesn’t Matter,

Have you thought about making a graph by team to show how he compares? Some people won’t rest until they see real evidence, but unless you want a sexual harassment charge, stick with the metaphors. 

If you want to get a little more serious with this guy, you’ve got to ignore the criticism. Yeah, the reputation is pretty funny, but there comes a point where you have to tell your friends to mind their own business. They’re not going to handle the puck, so why do they need to know?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date