Dear Dr. Date, 

I met my now-girlfriend on Tinder a few months ago after swiping while bored this summer. I was intending for it to be a hookup, but we actually ended up clicking in more ways than just sex, and we’ve been official for a few weeks now. While I knew I wasn’t super knowledgeable on her life, I found out something super major last week — my girlfriend is pro Greek-life and has been in a sorority for over a year.

I know, I know, how do you not know that about your partner? In my defense, we were normally doing “other things,” and I always assumed she was just a quarter Greek or something when she started using random letters. I told her upfront I was NOT a fan of Greek life (as a woman, I’ve been warned against certain fraternities since my first week of class) and asked how she could possibly participate in a system that has historically been bad to women. She told me I was totally wrong and had serious misconceptions — for her, Greek life means lifelong friends and constant support, and people like me take one example and stereotype the entire system.

Needless to say, we ended up getting into a HUGE fight over this. I don’t know if I can keep dating someone who represents a part of college life I absolutely despise, and despite her arguing (including starting an entire war online in University of Minnesota Facebook groups!), I won’t change my mind on Greek life. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Not a greek lifer

Dear,

Not a greek lifer

I think your last paragraph sums it up — you two just have differing opinions that you’re not willing to compromise on. It’s okay to have dealbreakers in relationships, and it sounds like being in Greek life is one of yours. End things now before you find yourself at formals and keep an eye out for Greek letters in Tinder bios from now on. 

Sincerely,

Dr. Date