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Dr. Date: I hooked up with one of my girlfriend’s roommates. Should I join quarantine with them?

Aaaaand my girlfriend has no idea.

Dear Dr. Date,

My girlfriend and I have been dating since we started college as freshmen two years ago. My girlfriend has kept me going through quarantine. We’ve been apart this whole time but meeting over Animal Crossing, and we Zoom for hours at a time every day. 

The trouble started this week when she asked me to join quarantine with her three roommates. But the thing is, I have a history with one of her roommates, Jane … but my girlfriend doesn’t know that. I hooked up with Jane a few times after meeting her at Kollege Klub (obviously back before it was a public health hazard). This was all around the same time that I started dating my girlfriend.

Now it’s super awkward when I go over, especially since I’ve never mentioned anything about it to my girlfriend. Plus, Jane will not stop flirting with me. Once their other roommates even asked me to rate both my girlfriend and Jane on a scale of 1-10! I have no idea why, but all of her roommates are pressuring me to move in with them. When I was last over there (pre-COVID), one of them made a sly comment about my history with Jane, which went right over my girlfriend’s head – she thinks that we are all just particularly good friends.

I’ve been avoiding the subject by saying breaking quarantine (and joining theirs) just doesn’t feel safe to me. All I know is there’s no way I’m living in her apartment. What should I do?


Quarantining Catastrophe

Dear Quarantining Catastrophe,

First of all, it’s more than weird you hooked up with someone at the same time you started a relationship with someone else – that’s cheating, and you need to come clean. Your girlfriend has a lot of faith in you and hasn’t suspected anything. Don’t take advantage of that by keeping her out of the loop.

You also need to tell Jane to stop hitting on you, especially since she obviously knows you are in a relationship. It’s not clear from your comment how you react when Jane and the other roommates sexualize you, but I would recommend you telling them to knock it off. It’s disrespectful to you, Jane and your relationship. Maybe once your girlfriend knows, they’ll be doubly careful about not breaking up a relationship.

As for moving in, once the water is clearer it will be easier to make a decision. If your girlfriend is okay with it and so are you, then why not? Also have you considered a throuple? If everyone’s down, it might be a nice way to spice up quarantine life before school starts up again in the fall.  

Even if you’re a serial monogamist, months without human touch may feel all the better with some more people to love.


Dr. Date

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