Dr. Date: We went 9-0, and I ended up puking on my girlfriend’s mom’s shoes…

Look, I had to celebrate, but now I’m about to be dumped!


by Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We go to the same school, but she’s from California, so I haven’t visited her house or met her parents. This semester, her mom wanted to surprise her for her birthday, so she found me through Facebook and asked when my girlfriend would be free that weekend. We messaged back and forth semi-awkwardly before deciding to surprise her with brunch this Sunday, the day after her birthday. 

However, the Gophers won (!!!!!) this Saturday, so I had to celebrate! And obviously, I drank way too much and ended up blacking out before waking up in the basement of a friend’s house. I managed to get home to my girlfriend, but I couldn’t pull myself together before her mom knocked on our door. The worst part? I wasn’t able to run to the bathroom and ended up puking all over my girlfriend’s mom’s shoes. 

Needless to say, both my girlfriend and her mom are furious. I wouldn’t be too worried if this was a casual relationship, but I’m really serious about this girl. How can I get them both to forgive me?


Relationship Ruiner

Dear Relationship Ruiner,

Talk about a first impression. Hopefully her mother can remember what it was like in college — come on, it’s game day! — and have some sympathy. Time heals all wounds, but so do apologies and gift cards. Send her mom an overly apologetic letter containing a gift card with enough money to replace her shoes. She should be able to recognize that you feel bad, especially because you offered to repair your mistake. If she’s still a little cold, remember that you’ve done everything you can and continue to suck up to her. Next time, set a reminder and drink some water — while not every hangover will be this bad, cleaning up puke is never fun.


Dr. Date