Dear Dr. Date,

Love is sharing a premium Pornhub account. Look, you and your partner can pretend that the other is your only source of sexual satisfaction, but let’s be real — sometimes people need something else on the side. And because cheating is gross and awful, porn can be a good way to fulfill that need, right? 

I know this may sound like me justifying my habits, but I promise, my girlfriend is totally okay with it. For Christmas, she bought me a paid subscription for some premium content! Sharing is caring, so I told her she can use it whenever she likes as well. It’s increased the spark in our relationship, so I’ve been considering it a good thing.

That is, until I took a look at the shared watch history. I don’t want to judge people too much for their habits, but… what she’s looking at makes me pretty uncomfortable. It’s not anything super crazy, but it’s stuff I would never be able to fulfill. Plus, none of the girls she’s watching look anything like me! Isn’t that what you would expect from your partner’s porn habits?
Dr. Date, I’m starting to feel insecure. Do I just cancel the subscription or should I have a talk with her?
Sincerely,

Not Like the Other Girls

Dear Not Like the Other Girls,

You answered your own question. Gently ask if you can talk about the account and if she says yes, bring up some of your worries. It’s okay to feel weird about your partner obviously desiring someone very different than you, but remember: Porn is a glorified fantasy that very few people will ever reenact in real life. It’s not meant to be realistic! Plus, people can be interested in different things sexually without devaluing their primary partner. Who knows, she might be wondering the same thing about you. I would suggest splitting up the account, though — the money spent on an extra subscription would ease your concerns and still keep things spicy.

Sincerely,

Dr. Date