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It is no secret that some people aren’t pulling their weight at the University of Minnesota. The field of higher education has never been even, and many of us will walk away from this place with our degrees, relatively unscathed. Others will crawl out the streets of Dinkytown bruised and bloodied with any mention of “midterms” bringing them screaming back to the battlefields of Blegen Hall.

Just kidding. No difficult exam has ever been taken in Blegen Hall.

We here at the opinion desk recently polled students and faculty alike on which majors are the easiest and hardest at the University.

Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I would like to extend my condolences to first-year Alejandro Gallegos, who reported that the easiest major was “Whichever one I’m not in.” The hardest being “Whichever one I’m in.”

It’s a real shame that whichever major you have chosen has given you this much strife, but, I assure you, it’s all downhill from here! Life will only disappoint, so buckle up!

Now that we’ve helped the youth, let us dive into the numbers.

Of the 46 respondents, communications barely edged out business by a vote of 12 to 11 for the easiest major on campus. As a journalism major, I want to clarify that it is technically a separate entity from communications. It is the Hubbard School of Journalism AND Mass Communication, after all.

With those two taking up over 50% of the vote, there wasn’t much else to write home about in terms of easiest majors, so I wager those are definitively the two easiest.

When it comes to great difficulty, chemical engineering took the cake with 11 votes. Aerospace engineering and computer science tied for second (perhaps third?) with four votes apiece. I guess this means the whole “it’s not rocket science” charade can end, right? If you can code a website, you can craft a rocket ship, according to the people, that is.

Let’s be honest with each other, oh dear reader, there have been few surprises so far. So, why don’t we look at the, shall we say, strange responses?

First off, Bryan Johnson, an English major and 2024 graduate, responded to the easiest and hardest major, saying “How the h— should I know?” and “Why the h— should I care?” respectively.

Not so respectful, though.

Well, Mr. Johnson, have you ever heard of community? Perhaps, commiseration and competitiveness among a student body? Some light-hearted fun? Ask Gallegos, it’s all downhill from here. Lighten up, bud.

In all seriousness, these are fair questions to ask. I have spent many a day grappling with the toils of academic apathy. Just ask my Italian professor. I hope the apathetic of this world can find solace amongst each other — someone has to take it easy for the rest of us.

Now that I am free of that burden, I would like to appreciate the brave souls who listed graphic design and English literature as the hardest majors in the entirety of the University. Nothing against graphic design — some things against English literature — but the hardest? Might I remind you about the actual rocket science?

Psychology was the only major to appear both in the easiest and hardest categories. With two votes easy and one vote hard, that places it decisively in easy.

Apologies to the therapists and psychiatrists of tomorrow, looks like you all took the easy street. Come back to me when you take some hard classes, like the ethics of Photoshop or whatever.

Before this poll, I had not heard about the recreation administration B.S. (which does not stand for Bachelor of Science). It is somewhat defunct now, becoming the Bachelor of Science in Sport and Recreation Management, but seems to primarily be available online.

I never knew you needed a degree to coach Little League. Some of us will leave the University with a vast understanding of how to manipulate chemicals to do your bidding, others will know how to manipulate the batting order so your kid’s tee-ball team can win some rings.

All equal, in my eyes.