Dr. Date, IâÄôm starting to develop feelings for one of my really good friends. We both date guys and say weâÄôre straight, but right now, IâÄôm attracted to her. (By the way, IâÄôm a girl.) I donâÄôt know what to make of this. Am I gay? IâÄôm pretty sure that IâÄôm attracted to boys. I think she feels the same way about me, or at least sheâÄôs also noticed the sexual tension between us. (We shared a pretty intense moment over the weekend, and we were really close to kissing.) What do I do? I donâÄôt want to bring it up and make things awkward. I also donâÄôt want to keep living like this; I feel like thereâÄôs a huge cloud over my head thatâÄôs not going to go away until I address it. âÄîLesbihonest Les Face It, You canâÄôt help who youâÄôre attracted to, and she canâÄôt help who sheâÄôs attracted to. But itâÄôs dangerous to make assumptions about how she feels, and by doing so, youâÄôre putting your relationship at risk. As usual, IâÄôm going to recommend talking about how you feel. After all, whatâÄôs the point of language if we only keep thoughts inside our heads? Communication is key. Be honest, and bring up your sexual attraction. And if you two really are as close as you say, your friend will likely respond in a positive way. After you both talk about the idea, youâÄôll have a better idea of how to move forward without jeopardizing your friendship. âÄîDr. Date Dr. Date, I recently started at a new job, and IâÄôve been getting weird vibes from my boss. HeâÄôs an older guy and a little wacky, and I really donâÄôt think he means to be creepy. (He makes inappropriate comments about my love life and his lack of sex life with his wife.) IâÄôm pretty sure heâÄôs trying to be funny. Everyone around the office seems to be used to his behavior and unfazed by his inappropriateness. Since IâÄôm so new, I donâÄôt want to cause a stir and bring it up to anyone âÄî especially if it means consequences on his end. More than that, I donâÄôt want the working relationship between him and me to be more awkward than it already is. I talked to my boyfriend about it, though, and he got pretty upset. HeâÄôs saying I should talk to the HR department, and itâÄôs important I feel comfortable at work. Of course, I agree, but I just donâÄôt feel like IâÄôve established myself enough to voice out against this sort of thing. I only started two weeks ago. I know this question is a little different than the ones you usually address, but I thought IâÄôd give it a shot. Any advice? âÄîThe Intern Listen To Your Beau, Your boyfriend is right. No matter your amount of experience, you must feel comfortable in your workplace. Specific employees are trained to address this sort of scenario, so talk to them. Sexual harassment is not OK, and theyâÄôll know the proper protocol for handling this specific case and how to move forward. Understand: Your report will remain anonymous. If your boss somehow finds out that you were the person behind it and he then treats you differently, heâÄôll be putting himself at risk of more consequences. ItâÄôs not fair that people in power sometimes misuse their authority to say inappropriate things to make the people under them feel uncomfortable. But there are laws and policies in place to protect you. And by coming forward, youâÄôre showing courage. YouâÄôre making the workplace more comfortable for future interns, and even though other employees donâÄôt seemed fazed by his inappropriateness, theyâÄôll likely appreciate your gesture. âÄîDr. Date
Dr. Date 04/09/2015
Published April 9, 2015
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