>Dr. Date,
About two and a half months ago I started dating a guy whom I had been friends with for 5 years before we started dating.
Well, about 2 weeks ago he just stopped calling me and answering my phone calls. There was no indication that he wasn’t happy in the relationship, but apparently he has decided to forget about me and our friendship altogether. Why would a guy just stop calling and stop answering my phone calls?
– My ex is an ass
Dear My ex is an ass,
I think this guy must have been abducted by aliens.
First of all, there is no possible way he didn’t give signs of disappointment in the relationship.
A long-time friend doesn’t just stop talking to you without some sort of explanation or hint that something is bothering them.
If you were friends for five years and just started dating, there is definitely something wrong with his lack of communication.
You must have mutual friends; have you asked them what the deal is?
Your boy might be thinking that by dating you, irreparable harm has come to your friendship. You need to contact with him and talk it over.
– Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
I know that you have answered many letters about dating in the workplace, but I’m hoping you’ll answer one more.
You see, I have a workplace crush. A major crush.
Here’s my story:
I work with this guy, but not always directly. He works in a completely different department, but because I’m a manager, and he’s a manager, I have to talk with him on a daily basis.
He seems to go out of his way to come to my department and shoot the breeze, but I can’t tell if I’m overanalyzing the situation or if he’s just being nice.
I see him out of the office at parties and such, but we’ve never really hung out. I’ve also made a few phone calls to him in a drunken stupor, but have never said anything that would lead him to think that I like him.
Do you think there is any hope for us to ever date or are we bound to be workplace buddies? Can workplace relationships really ever exist or are they always bound to end in a mess?
I’m scared to make a move because I don’t know if he likes me as a crush or if he just likes me as a coworker. I don’t want to harm the friendship that we’ve started and I don’t want to create tension at work. But I can’t stop thinking about him.
– Lonely at work
Dear Lonely at work,
Crushes at work suck. Trust me, I know.
When you’re crushing on someone at work, it’s hard to get through the day without thinking about your crush. I’m sure you sit at your desk and pray that he will walk by, just so you can see him.
I’m kind of interested in these drunken phone calls. Has he ever told you he doesn’t like it when you call? Have you ever said anything in these phone calls that he could perceive as you liking him? Don’t you think he might have a sneaking suspicion you’re crushing because you’re making these calls?
If you are deathly afraid of making a move, then there’s really nothing you can do other than hope he finds out and hope he has a mutual crush on you.
It’s a lot of hoping and what ifs, but if he does like you and he knows you like him, then something is bound to happen. He’d be pretty dense not to do something about it.
– Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
My question to you is am I moving on too fast?
You see I dated this girl for over a year and a half, she broke up with me this past summer, and it sort of ended on “bad terms.” Shortly after the break up I hooked up with someone new (not with intentions to get back at my ex or anything like that, it just happened).
Although we took it slow at first, we have since gotten into a pretty serious relationship.
Considering my ex broke up with me I sometimes question the authenticity to my new love. I don’t feel like I am using my new girlfriend to “help me get over” my last, but sometimes I wonder how I could have moved on so fast.
I also know that my ex has moved on as well, but sometimes I feel like I need to still “show her” what she gave up.
Is this normal or am I a bastard for wanting to do that? I know that I do not want to be back together with my ex, but at the same time I don’t know if I am completely over her either.
Is it wrong to love someone new knowing I still struggle with feelings for my ex? Things have been so great with my new girlfriend and I know that time should not matter, but every so often I feel like things are too good to be true.
I absolutely love my new relationship and feel like I am falling in love, I’m just a little confused because I don’t know if I am moving on too soon?
– Hopefully not a bad boyfriend
Dear Hopefully not a bad boyfriend,
You have got a case of the “I’m not sure if I’m in a rebound relationship” bug.
You need to evaluate where your current relationship stands with your mate. Make sure you both have the same view of where this relationship is going and what you expect to come from it.
If you start thinking about how your current girlfriend doesn’t bake you cookies with your initials in frosting like your old girlfriend did, then it’s time to step away from your current relationship and take a break from dating until you get over your past break-up.
It’s not fair to your girlfriend or you if you’re having anything other than platonic thoughts about your ex.
So – the moment you’ve been waiting for – a list for you and the rest of Dateworkia to see whether you’re in a rebound relationship.
Top 10 ways you know you’re in a rebound relationship:
10) All you want to do is jump your partner’s bones, never just chat with them. What would you say?
9) You know the day you’re going to break up with your new mate.
8) Everything you say is followed by the thought, “My ex didn’t do it that way.”
7) You accidentally let your ex’s name slip in the heat of the moment.
6) You write into Dr. Date, asking if you are in a rebound relationship.
5) The first thing you did when you started dating your new girlfriend was to call your ex, “just to let her know.”
4) Your current relationship began one week after your old one ended.
3) You call your new girlfriend Sugar Lips – just like your old girlfriend.
2) Your friends tell you you’re in a rebound relationship.
1) You still have scratches on your back from your ex-girlfriend.
– Dr. Date