>Dr. Date,
I’ve heard some pretty crazy (as in disgusting) stories about my current beau. Apparently he used to be pretty “smooth” with the ladies. I didn’t know this when I asked him out because he seemed like such a sweet, shy fella.
I know he’s not sleeping around anymore because he’s with me now, but it still creeps me out that I’m probably the last of a long list. Should I be worried about this or just let it go now that’s he’s changed his ways? Can a relationship work when one of us has had much more experience?
– Mrs. Man-whore
Dear Mrs. Man-whore,
Where did you hear these stories from? As a journalist (and a doctor, of course), I’m concerned about the accuracy of any rumors you’re hearing about your beau.
So you have less experience than your current man-friend. If you have been going out for a long time, he probably knows this already. If you haven’t, he probably can tell.
Chances are, he’s with you for a reason. Maybe he’s gotten tired of the swinger college lifestyle and just wanted a sweet lady.
If the difference in experience levels is understood in the relationship, it shouldn’t be a problem. If he expects you to be Christina Aguilera when you’re more like Jessica Simpson, you might need to talk to him.
– Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
I am crushing on this guy who is of a different race. However we do practice the same religion which gives me a little hope. But the problem is that I don’t know how he feels about interracial dating and he doesn’t seem approachable at all.
He seems so quiet and I have never seen him smile. I go to this computer lab he works at and waste tons of money trying to get a look at him or talk to him. I tried to talk to him but it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
It is hard to start conversation with someone who acts like “Hitler,” no offense to anyone one.
Last week, I went to this get together thing, hoping he’d be there. He happened to show up, what a coincidence. I asked a friend of mine to talk to him just to see if he was easy to talk to, but it turned out that without a friendly smile, he was very quiet and gave my friend short answers.
It was the type of response of “I don’t normally talk to strangers….” How can I know if he is interested without embarrassing myself?
– International Crusher
Dear International Crusher,
Your letter makes it seem as though you think this guy is a total jerk. You even call him “Hitler.” Do you want to date Hitler?
If you have faith this guy might be interested, I would go talk to him. Sometimes the shyest guys have trouble approaching girls and need somebody else to make the first move.
But if he still acts like a jerk, he’s not worth it. I would take your love to another Nazi.
– Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
This is my first year at the U and so far it has been great, with the exception of one problem. See, I live a mere fifteen minutes from campus with my folks so I commute to school. That’s the problem. I can’t meet any guys!
There are plenty of guys in my classes but I am afraid it will be hard to get to know any of them well, being that I only see them for fifty minutes three times a week. Plus, I am shy when I get around guys that I am attracted to.
And how about hotties who ride the bus or wait at the Coffman bus stop? It seems like it would be tacky trying to approach someone on a bus. I don’t know.
I am sure there are more commuter students out there with my problem. Please help us Dr. Date!
– Lonely Commuter
Dear Lonely Commuter,
In Coffman Union the other day, I was standing by the Commuter Lounge and noticing how sad and lonely many of our school’s commuter students seemed. I have been at the University a while and have never made any really good friends through classes.
I know you’re looking for love and not friendship, but if you want to leave a lasting impression, I would search for places to develop lasting relationships with large groups of University students.
Join the Marching Band. You’d be surprised how many band babies come out of that group. Or the admissions ambassadors. Just hang out with large groups of students and you won’t be able to run away from large groups of suitors.
– Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
I’m what you’d call a semi-gothic person; I wear the chains and black and the like, for almost three years now, but recently I’ve run into a little problem. The one main issue I have with appearing the way I do is that I’m severely limited in the dating scene.
There are just not a whole lot of semi-gothic women out there, let alone very many that are worth dating.
Anyway, on the first week of school I met this amazing girl who was not gothic, and the two of us are now very good friends. I really feel attached to her, and plan to ask her out eventually, but I know my clothing is an issue in her “normal” group of friends. I get pretty cold reception from them, and people tend also to not take me as seriously in these clothes anyways as far as dating is concerned.
I’ve really considered giving up the whole attire, but in doing so I fear that I’d lose a piece of my individuality. I would say this girl is worth changing appearance for, (though I’m really sure she wouldn’t ask me to change) and at this point I’m not really sure what to do.
Thanx,
– A Devil Courting an Angel
Dear A Devil Courting an Angel,
I think you need to re-evaluate why you consider gothic attire a part of your individuality. A lot of people do it – in fact, it’s kind of a cliche.
If this girl is really worth changing for, go for it. But it sounds to me as if she’ll accept who you are.
If she’s lame enough to consider choice of clothing a reason to not date you, I would forget about her.
– Dr. Date