Dr. Date,

I think I’m addicted to relationships. Every time I get out of a relationship, I find myself getting into another a month later. It’s not like I am complaining about my luck in finding fantastic people that I find romantically enticing, but more that I feel like I’m losing myself in the process. I keep telling myself that I am a strong, independent girl who doesn’t need a companion, but, like clockwork, I’m back in the same situation.

I’ve overheard some people in my life saying that I use people to feel happy. That’s not a fun thing to hear, nor do I feel like it accurately represents the person that I am. I truly want to be happy and I just keep flitting back and forth on how to get there.

I need advice. Preferably from someone who won’t hold it against me.

Sincerely,

Hopeless Love-Slut

Dear Hopeful Love-Seeker,

RED FLAG: the “people in your life” that talk about you behind your back are definitely a bigger concern than the relationship-hopping you’re describing.

But honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to fall in love, even if you try different avenues and the time between them might not be all that long. There’s a whole damn tv show where there are literal seconds between dates and Hannah Beast manages to look fierce and maintain her autonomy regardless. How does she (and the other billions of people out there looking for love) do it? Confidence. Self-love. And taking time for yourself. 

You are the captain of your own seas … or however the heck that one goes. If you think you need time or to take things slow, communicate that. If you’re happy searching for love, freaking do it! You deserve “that real good real” that Hannah B. talks about, and if a writer at a student newspaper supports you more than the people around you, drop them and do what makes you happy.

Best of luck, 

Dr. Date