Dear Dr. Date, 

I don’t know much about football, but I do know that our team isn’t exactly the greatest. We’ve done well at times (the axe is back, baby!!!!), but throughout my four years of college, I’ve seen way more losses than wins. My boyfriend, however, is a HUGE fan. We met at a Gopher watch party, but I didn’t realize how big of a deal football was to him until we started dating six months ago. Now that the season has started again, my boyfriend is glued to the TV with all of his friends. When there’s a Gopher game that night, I know I won’t see him for 48 hours — he’ll be pre-gaming all day, then dealing with a hangover the next day. I barely see him! I told him I wished he wasn’t so involved, but he said I was overreacting. 

We decided to make a bet: when the Gophers inevitably lose a game, he has to spend the next day with me and me alone, no matter the hangover. I figured it would bring us closer together and help us talk about something other than football. Plus, I was DEFINITELY going to get the better end of that deal — we’re not exactly winning many championships, right? If the Gophers win, I have to … perform a sexual act we don’t normally do. Don’t get me wrong, we are both consenting adults, but it’s just more work for me.

I’m sure you see where this is going. The Gophers have won both games they’ve played, and I’ve been spending more time “celebrating” in bed than actually hanging out with my boyfriend. I’m worried this winning streak will continue and I’ll never see him outside of tailgating and sex. However, he’s obviously a big fan of this bet, and I don’t know how to ask him to call it off (especially because it was my idea in the first place). Outside of hunting down PJ Fleck, what can I do?!

Sincerely,

Sore Winner

Dear Sore Winner,

Rule number one: Don’t make bets you’re not comfortable losing. But, I don’t think the bet is really the problem here. It sounds like you and your boyfriend don’t spend as much time together as you would like, and you came up with a bet to force him into doing it (which, seriously, you shouldn’t have to do. You’re his partner!). Have a conversation about what’s really masquerading behind the bet. If he’s a decent boyfriend, he should recognize that you feel like your needs aren’t being met and will discuss how you can both get on the same page. But if he yells that rules are rules and you’re being dramatic, dump him as fast as … I don’t know, insert something about football here?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date