Dear Dr. Date, 

I’ve always been confident with my looks — sure, I might not have the “ideal” Victoria’s Secret model body, but I’m happy with who I am. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for over a year and thought she felt the same, until recently. 

When we first talked about our exes a few months into dating, I stalked them on social media and noticed she had a type: Instagram influencers. Her ex-flings are all super toned, with long blonde hair and a smile sponsored by some online-only braces company. One of them even has almost 100,000 followers. Needless to say, that’s not me at all, but she reassured me by saying those things don’t matter to her anymore.

Last week, I was feeling very insecure and turned to my girlfriend for some help. I asked her why she loved me considering the models she used to date, and she said “Just because you’re not as hot as them doesn’t mean I don’t love you as much!” Ouch. Ever since that comment, I’ve been torturing myself by looking at her exes and seeing how much better they look. It’s really affected my self-confidence. How do I tell her how much she hurt me?

Sincerely, 

Not a FitTea Girl

Dear Not a FitTea Girl, 

A classic case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. I doubt your girlfriend was trying to be cruel, but you need to tell her how much something like that affects you. She’s not a mind reader, so explain to her that while her comment may not have had malicious intent, it was still hurtful and brought up bad memories. 

Your girlfriend may have had one type in the past, but people can be attracted to a variety of people. Overall, it’s about chemistry and connection, not just what you look like or post on Instagram. Rest assured that your girlfriend still loves you, but is sometimes just clueless. While you’re at it, watch out for Instagram ads — does Sugar Bear Hair really work? 

Sincerely,

Dr. Date