Dear Dr. Date,

I’ve dated guys in all lines of work, but I think my boyfriend’s job is becoming the focus of our relationship. We met on Tinder, where his picture was him with a Corvette and his bio was “ask me how I got this car.” I thought it was some clever line he would then use in our DM’s, so I messaged him. All he said was that he earned it through his company and asked if I wanted to go get coffee to talk about it. 

Our date went really well, and he talked a lot about how he started his own business with some help through another company. I was super impressed! I started complaining about how little I get paid at my on-campus job and his eyes lit up. He immediately asked if I wanted to be my own boss and started going on about how “you get paid to be on your phone!” I was hesitant, so every time he’s asked, I said ‘maybe’ on the next date. 

Anyways, we’ve been going out for a while, and I’m getting really concerned. He keeps talking about his “upline,” aka boss, pushing him to find more workers. He’s always on his phone texting his “team,” and told me I just wouldn’t understand because I’m not my own boss. And last night during sex, he moaned “Vector!” I don’t know what’s going on. What can I do to make him focus on me instead of work?

Sincerely,

Not an Entrepreneur

Dear Not an Entrepreneur, 

Ummm, I think you’re just worried because you haven’t tried the right blend of essential oils I sell. Wanna become a fellow boss babe and work from home with no experience necessary?

Okay, okay, I’ll just tell it to you straight: I think your “boyfriend” is actually just trying to recruit you for a multi-level marketing scheme. While people can make money from them, it’s incredibly rare, and a lot of these companies prey upon innocent college students trying to find a job that fits with their class schedule. Save yourself a lot of time and money and tell him you’re not interested at all — if he still persists, maybe he does like you. But if he stops scheduling coffee shop dates and only messages once a week about a different unique business opportunity, I’m sorry to say you weren’t meant to be on each others’ super successful team. Trust me, you dodged an emoji-filled bullet — have you ever seen MLM sellers’ Facebook posts?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date