Dear Dr. Date, 

My girlfriend and I started dating last fall and have become pretty serious this year. We discussed potentially moving in together, but after seeing many of our friends break up while still having to live together, we decided we wanted to be dating for at least two years. I signed a lease for a one bedroom and she signed with a (female) friend or a two bedroom in a nearby complex.

However, her friend just found out her study abroad application was accepted so she can no longer live with my girlfriend. I was worried she would have to pay twice the rent until she told me the very next day she found a new roommate — a guy she went to high school with who she’s known for years. I’m not one to get jealous super easily, but I’ve met him before. He’s way more attractive than me, came here on a full scholarship and definitely seemed to have eyes for my girlfriend. I’m worried that by living with her, he’s trying to steal her away from me! They may not be moving into their new place until the spring, but I’m already panicking. 

My girlfriend seems thrilled about her new roommate, but all I can see is him trying to seduce her when I’m not around. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Totally Not Jealous

Dear Totally Not Jealous,

Woah, slow down there. Keep in mind, your girlfriend is not an object who can be stolen away by a handsome man — she’s a person who loves you. You said yourself that you two are serious, so why do you have so little faith in her commitment? 

That being said, I can see why you might worry that the guy has feelings for her. But in reality, this situation isn’t as bad as you may think. Do you know how many roommates grow to hate each other after they live together? Seriously, if he had feelings for her, they’ll be gone after she leaves the dishes overflowing in the sink. Trust your girlfriend, don’t let your jealousy cloud your judgement and realize she can have male friends. If it gets ugly, she can always move in with you, right?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date