Dear Dr. Date,

I play Dungeons and Dragons — and yes, I have sex. Contrary to popular belief, nerds can have girlfriends, and my girlfriend is just as excited about our campaign as I am. I’m the Dungeon Master for the first time (aka leading the campaign) and was a little nervous at first, but over the past few months, our group has really enjoyed playing.

Well, two people enjoy it more than others. See, role-playing is a key part of the story, and two of my players have developed an in-game relationship. Which is fine, if one of the players wasn’t my girlfriend! Her character and my friend’s character have been hooking up for a few sessions now, and they’re now starting to describe it in-game, while I just have to listen and try and redirect the story. I’m super uncomfortable hearing my girlfriend describe how she wants to undress a wizard…especially because WE haven’t had sex in almost a month. How is a thing that only exists on a character sheet getting more than me?!

I tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn’t see the problem and says she’s just “more immersed in the game.” At this point, I’m just waiting for them to actually strip down and do it in front of everyone. How can I get her interest to move back to me?

Sincerely,

Needs Enchantment

Dear Need Enchantment,

If it’s getting into dirty talk, this is totally inappropriate. The rest of the players also probably aren’t into it, so you have to shut this down —  for the sake of the campaign!! You’ve talked to your girlfriend, but also talk to your friend. It takes two to tango (and role-play, right?). As for repairing your sex life, idea: Dress up like your friend’s character and make a move. How good are you at impressions?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date