Dear Dr. Date,

For me, Halloween is about two things: getting blackout drunk and looking hot while doing it. Sexy costumes have been my thing for years, and for my senior year of college, I wanted to go all out. My boyfriend was more than happy to oblige in a couple’s costume, thankfully, so we’ve been working out some ideas.The theme of the main Halloween party we plan on frequenting is Unsexy Characters Made Sexy: think shirtless Quaker Oats guy or something. Fun idea, right? We could totally do something normal but hot, right?

Well, you’d think. My boyfriend is convinced he has the perfect idea, and oh my god it is awful. 

I don’t want to say the name, but think of two odd characters always seen together on a children’s TV show about a “street.” Yeah. WEIRD. It involves crop tops, fishnets, thigh-highs, a choker (?!), the whole deal. You don’t even want to know what he has planned after the party…

I am SO not into it, but my boyfriend is treating this like it’s a deal breaker. I don’t know if it’s a fantasy or what, but no matter what better ideas I come up with, he refuses to listen. How can I convince my boyfriend that sexualizing beloved childhood characters is weird?!

Sincerely,

Mert and Bernie

Dear Mert and Bernie,

Look, unfortunately, I don’t think sexualizing childhood characters for a Halloween costume is too out of the ordinary (how many sexy Scooby-Doo gangs are out there every year?), but this is definitely an offbeat one. I get where you’re both coming from — it could definitely be a funny costume, but it’s okay to be uncomfortable with it. If you both can’t agree on something and he won’t respect your opinion, tell him you’ll find your own costume separate from him, or go to a different Halloween party. No matter what, puking in a bush wearing a sexy costume will always be in style?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date