Dear Dr. Date,

I’ve done everything I can think of — switched my preferred age range, made my bio as specific as possible, literally made my profile a screenshot of the lyrics to “F*** Donald Trump.” Despite my best efforts, I can’t stop matching with moderates on Tinder.

It was subtle at first. I thought it was sus when I matched with a guy last January who was a member of the UMN Students for Biden. Then in June, I matched with two different girls who wanted me to come to a socially-distanced party celebrating the Biden nom. Now, I’ve matched with some guy from Wisconsin who thinks a hot date idea includes getting matching “Auntie Kamala” and “unity” line art tattoos.

Please help.

Signed,
Leftist and Lonely

Dear Leftist and Lonely

I get it. You want someone who wants prison reform in the streets and who is a bit more than Minnesota nice in the sheets. That’s understandable — it must be much easier to build a life with someone who believes in a universal basic income.

On this campus, I can’t imagine it’ll be hard to find someone who shares your dreams. For now, I would recommend ditching Tinder. I reckon you’ll find more devout activists through student org Instagrams and event pages. Perhaps this: Shoot for restorative justice and land in the Bernie Bros?

Sincerely,
Dr. Date

Are you romantically bewildered? Are you sexually consternated, and is your relationship status a little too complicated? Want advice from the Minnesota Daily’s in-house love doctor? Email Dr. Date at [email protected].