Dear Dr. Date,

Lately, I’ve been noticing a really troubling pattern when it comes to the things my boyfriend says online. 

It took me a while to figure it out because he used to do things I could excuse as inside jokes or ribbing: He commented “lame” under his little sister’s selfie on Instagram; he replied with a vomit emoji on his aunt’s Facebook post about breastfeeding positivity; he’s always made fun of me for listening to Taylor Swift and watching rom coms. 

With us living together during the pandemic, I’ve noticed it more and more, and it’s made me start to feel really bad about myself and the things I like. I’ve tried to start conversations with him about it, but he refuses to budge. He’s even started calling me “feminazi” as a joke, but I don’t think it’s funny. 

Am I the crazy one here? Is there something I can say to stick up for myself (and, you know, all women ever)?

Best, 

Mad About Misogyny 

Dear Mad About Misogyny,

You’re not crazy.

Many of the women I know have struggled with misogyny in their relationships, but usually never to this scale. I don’t want to tell you to just dump his ass, but it doesn’t seem like he’s receptive to much else. 

It is not your job to educate or defend yourself to this man. You should be able to feel free to enjoy and indulge in the things you like without worrying about being judged in your own home by someone who is supposed to love you. 

Besides, as we all know, it’s not cool to hate Taylor Swift anymore. 

Best, 

Dr. Date

Are you romantically bewildered? Are you sexually consternated, and is your relationship status a little too complicated? Want advice from the Minnesota Daily’s in-house love doctor? Email Dr. Date at [email protected].