Dear Dr. Date,
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost five months now, but there’s a problem. Despite living five blocks away from each other, we rarely see each other. He’s always been a dude who kept to himself, but I thought we’d become closer once we became partners. He’s busy with school — as am I — but he uses it as an excuse for not spending time with me. I see him four times a month, at best.
How do I confront this situation and let him know that I need more time from him without coming across as needy?
Signed,
My relationship’s in danger
Dear My relationships in danger,
We all need alone time, but “together time” is integral to any relationship. If he’s blowing you off or taking too much time between when he sees you, that’s reason enough for anybody to get a little nervous. He either doesn’t understand the terms and conditions of a relationship (dedicating time to your significant other) or, it seems to me, he isn’t intentional with his time.
If that doesn’t slide with you now, it won’t slide in two months — or two years — if the relationship progresses. Sit down, talk about what both of you want out of the relationship, and if he doesn’t understand your needs, it’s not your responsibility to teach someone else how to value you and your time.
Sincerely,
Dr. Date
Are you romantically bewildered? Are you sexually consternated, and is your relationship status a little too complicated? Want advice from the Minnesota Daily’s in-house love doctor? Email Dr. Date at [email protected].