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Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily



Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Shocking Juxtaposition

Published March 16, 1997

You hurriedly reach down and grab the pastel yellow sheet of paper that the shady character dropped. It reads: "Roomates too noisy to study at home? Come to Walter Library, the best (quiet) place on campus!" It...

Say hello to Loni Anderson

Published March 16, 1997

You decide to turn right and head into Ferguson Hall at a slight jog. "Man, I hope this is the right way," you say, once again cursing him for stealing your ticket. "What kind of community is this where...

Flight of the white, speeding car

Published March 16, 1997

Time seems to be running out in your quest for finding your missing ticket. You approach Rodent Towing with the wind in your face. It is a cold, late afternoon, and you step closer to the building. A sign...

Crash test dummy

Published March 16, 1997

Taking off like a bat out of hell, you sprint toward the steps leading down to the bus stop. Curse these people walking home from finals! They keep getting in the way and you lose sight of the shadowy...

Look out for Greased Lightning

Published March 16, 1997

A wave of nausea washes over you as the thick smell of grease inside the Dinkydome enters your nostrils. You quickly round a corner and find the bathrooms before retching your guts out. "I remember why...

The crying game

Published March 16, 1997

U2000, General College, Waseca, Resource Centered Management, CUFS accounting -- Hasselmo's tricked you before, and you aren't falling for it this time. Plus, you can't stand to see someone crying in front...

Busing to Margaritaville

Published March 16, 1997

You dash out of the lecture hall into the brisk evening air. Thoughts of the hot, salty nights awaiting you in Baja quicken your pace to the bus stop, where a westbound Route 16 is just pulling up. Your...

The mysterious bony finger

Published March 16, 1997

The beeping of the alarm fades in your ears as you descend the steps into the dimly lit basement of the library. Your eyes dart around the hallway, but it seems to be deserted. Suddenly you catch a glimpse...

Sweating bullets

Published March 16, 1997

You have to think fast. You swiftly decide that the mysterious villain has taken off down the sidewalk to your left, passing the Law Building and heading toward the entrance to Willey Hall that faces the...

Ooh, ooh that smell

Published March 16, 1997

You emerge from the burning wreckage disoriented by the smoke and flying glass shards. You stumble a few steps into the road, confused by the smell of frying bacon. The odor takes you back to the kitchen...

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